If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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