Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ok first of all what the fuck
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
