im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm too high and old for this...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
