Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
dude i'm inner monologue high
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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