My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
