Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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