I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I love you.
Bad choice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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