Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
