yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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