DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
