Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Im part way to drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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