After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She bit a glass in half.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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