Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
