Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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