The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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