NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
