I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
