Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
