just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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