is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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