Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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