More tranny stories later!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
