YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
