it wasn't lemon gatorade
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
