i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
