I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
