I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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