my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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