so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
