I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
