Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
