happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I skipped work to stalk him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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