He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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