Where is the hickey?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
