Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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