We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
