Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
