Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
