next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
