Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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