38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
