woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
