doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
