Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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