I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
