Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Randomize
