at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have fence marks all over my body
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
