he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
