My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
