Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
