I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
